"Dancing with the Holy Spirit": With all my heart and my soul

Friday, September 23, 2011

With all my heart and my soul

My Lord, here I am, in front of you again, with all my heart and my soul. Teach me to be honest with myself and with you. Teach me not to hide behind words, behind polished phrases. Here I am, my soul all naked, ready to let you in. I have so many things to repent for. So many things I should have done and I haven’t. So many things I shouldn’t have done and I have. So many dark corners inside my heart where your light hasn’t reached yet. Forgive me for all those things and for many others that can’t be said here and now. You know each and every one of them. Purify my soul of all the rubbish, so that you can turn me into an instrument of your love. Clean all the places that need to be cleaned. Heal all the wounds that need to be healed. Light all the corners that are still in the dark. Hold my hand and guide my steps on the right path. Help me keep the candle burning. Show me the meaning of my life and your will for it. Let me find my strength in you, even when I feel that all in me is weakness and that all around me is crumbling to pieces. Be my comforter and my friend. Listen to my prayers and help me cry when the burden of restrained tears becomes too heavy within me. Cry with me. Let me feel your tears like a rain inside me, setting me free from all the tension, from all the negative energy. Let me feel your love touching my soul like a soft summer breeze, your tender care like a warm coat on a chilly day, your sweet presence like a long-wanted gift on a magic Christmas Eve. Teach me how to live and how to die. How to pray and how to forgive. All the things that could help my faith grow. Teach me all the little things no one has ever taught me. All that my soul longs to know. And don’t leave me. Stay with me forever and ever. Especially in the moments when I’m down and there’s no one else to lift me up. Especially in the moment of my death. Share it with me to make it easier. Make me feel then - like I felt all throughout my life - that everywhere is home, since home is wherever you are and you are everywhere.

AMEN

1 comment:

Melanie TaylorSeptember 26, 2011 at 7:14 PM
Hello Emma,

I think it is wonderful how you are "right out there" with your love for God.It is exciting to see someone as young and beautiful as yourself to know where true beauty and love come from....

God bless!

Melanie Howard Taylor
melanietaylor44@yahoo.ca
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Emma's Testimony

Ever since I can remember I have always believed that there was a God. I called myself a Christian but I never practiced it. I was “Lukewarm” a little in a little out, a token prayer now and then, went church on Easter like all good Christians do.

However, my life changed forever back in the fall of 2007….

I met the man of my dreams! His name was Bryan, he was larger than life. 6’2 dark brown hair, green eyes, perfect white teeth and the body of an athlete. He swept me off my feet; we loved all the same things. We spent 3 months together having a blast! Vegas weekends, dinner dates, baseball games, weekend trips to the beach. I was falling in love fast!

We were invited to a 2008 New Year’s party by one of his friends. I was so excited, a party! I haven’t been to a real party for years. I bought a new dress, had my hair and nails done. I wanted to look my best. Bryan wore all black; he looked like a rock star. By the time we got to the party it was already in full swing. People were dancing and drinking and having fun.

Bryan headed straight for the bar and started drinking Jack Daniel shots, I had a diet coke, I would be the designated driver for the evening. There were over 50 people there. Bryan and I keep losing ourselves in the crowd. After a couple of hours Bryan was pretty drunk.

I was talking to a man I met there, he was telling me about a ski trip he took to Utah.

That was the last thing I remembered of that evening until I woke up in a hospital 10 days later.

This is what I’ve been told……
Bryan became so jealous to see me talking with this guy that he grabbed me by my hair and dragged me out the front door. Everyone at the party followed to watch as Bryan beat me unconscious on the front lawn. Not one of them tried to stop him. He left me there as he sped off in his truck.

I was rushed straight into emergency surgery to stop a bleed on my brain. The doctor told my brother that 30 minutes into the surgery my heart stopped for 6 minutes. I was put on an induced coma for 10 days.

Like a dream the only thing I remember is what I conceived to be an Angel, the most beautiful being. Surrounded by light. No words were spoken, just a warm love embrace.

It took me several months to fully recover.

Bryan was caught. He was given 6 years and was just denied parole earlier this year.

The only visible scar I carry is a small mark above my right eyebrow; however I carry deep emotional scars of fear and trust. I believe there is a reason God hasn’t healed me from my fear, I believe he will though in his time.

My life has been changed forever! I now have a close relationship with the Lord.

"Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness." Psalm 107:8-9

"Praise the LORD! Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Who can utter the mighty acts of the LORD? Who can declare all His praise?" Psalm 106:1-2

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18